Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Oh I'm so tired!!! I haven't slept in two days. This decongestant I am on wow - I'm up all night long. Today, I am going to suffer with stuffiness. I need to sleep tonight. The good thing is I have no appetite! They oughta make this stuff a diet pill instead!
Yesterday a friend of mine here at work and her friend went to the park to pray. It was beautiful. Water, gorgeous colors, quiet, ducks floating, a very slight we were surrounded by God's good works! We prayed and we prayed and we prayed. These girls know how to pray now! I've been having a really tough time lately. My 5 yr old is getting in trouble DAILY. For hitting, or kissing, or kicking. He just can not keep his hands to hisself. The teacher has him on a daily behavior chart and if he gets 7 out of 9 smiley faces he gets a sticker for the day and I let him eat breakfast at school rather than at home (that's what he asked for). Well, the bus driver calls me over and tells me how he's kissing all the girls, his teacher at church laughs and says boy he sure likes the girls, he's always kissing them. OOOHHHHH it's driving me crazy!!! I even made up a song to sing EVERY morning about keeping our hands to ourself! It's just out of control. Then of course my stinkin' husband won't make a decision about what he's going to do job wise. It's really really really got me stressed out! Like I'm hanging on everyday waiting for his decision and he says we'll talk about it, then we just say the same things, he says I don't know what to do, and I say you know what I want, I want you to work 1st shift, but you have to do what makes you happy. What is going to make you happy... and he says I don't know!! I swear I'm going to hang the men in my house! Well Monday night, I really lost control of my temper with Tucker, I wasn't feeling well, I had done alot of work that day around the house, he was whining and fighting with me about everything, that's the day the bus driver told me about the kissing which I walked away from crying... and I snapped! I said some horrible things and I felt terrible! I pray that his young little mind forgets what I said! So yesterday afternoon my friend picked me up from my slump and said I know you don't feel like praying but you've got to armor up in this battle so come on! And I thank her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did feel better! I do feel stonger! And I have to trust that God has me exactly where He wants me in life. I trust you GOD! I trust you GOD! Thank you GOD!
So last night, Tucker gets off the bus and the driver tells me - he kicked a little girl in the face! Now don't get me wrong... he really is a good little boy. He's tons of fun, I don't know what makes him do these things! He sounds horrible out here but he really isn't. (but sometimes I feel like he is)... does that make sense? Anyways... I said that's it... grabbed the family and we went out to dinner and had light conversation about nothing in general and just enjoyed each others company (it's been months and months since we've been out). When we got home all the kids were out and we sat out with all the other parents and watched all the kids ride bikes. So the night ended peacefully - thanks to the good Lord!
I guess we all have our trials, we'll all buck up and make it through them, I guess it's just a matter of whether we do it kicking and screaming or just go with the flow!

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