Thursday, May 31, 2007

* this may be more info than you want to know...

I started bleeding this morning. Here at work. Nothing terrible and not alot of cramping. Just like a very mild period so far. I know it will get heavier before it gets lighter but I hope the cramps stay like they are.
I have to say...even though this is horrible news God is good. My church prayed for me last night and all of you have been praying for me. The prayers I requested was that this happen quickly and painfree. Let me tell you, when God answers He answers! This is quick. The Dr said it could happen in a week it could happen in a month. It happened in a matter of days. Thank you God for your swiftness. Thank you for having mercy on my suffering. Thank you for your saving Grace.
I really am okay. I'm not depressed. I'm not down. I am praising God through this and thanking Him for the opportunity that this has presented to talk to my husband. To see how wonderful and supportive my husband really is. The opportunity to talk to my child, a serious pretty adult conversation, and see how mature and grown up he really is. What a blessing this has all been.
I also know with all confidence that I will conceive again and it will live and be healthy.
I heard a song yesterday and it said something about praying my child into heaven. Isn't it funny how God sends us words? My daily word yesterday was Psalm 18:1. I love you Lord, You are my strength. Also Exodus 15:2.
He truly is my rock!
How grateful I am for you Lord!!! Just like the song... I have in my life... proved him o'er and o'er!! My life is a testimony to Him and I want to shout it from the street side! GOD SAVED MY LIFE AND HE CAN SAVE YOURS TOO!!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I went to have another ultrasound yesterday and the baby was smaller than it was a week ago and it should have tripled in size. So, my body is going to miscarry. I had to have a blood test done which will check my hormone levels and then I'll go again next week and see if they dropped (which in all reality they will have). The dr couldn't give me a time frame but I am guessing within a month I will have miscarried and it'll be done. I was (obviously) upset yesterday but I am okay today. I know that God has a perfect plan and I am trusting Him for it. Tim is being very supportive and he was pretty upset yesterday also. We both agree that once I'm healthy we'll try again. The hardest thing in all of this will be to tell Tucker. He's so very excited it's going to suck! That and just having to tell this story over and over to all the people who know. Next time… we'll wait to tell Tucker (because he's the one who blabbed to everyone he saw)! So anyways… please pray that this happens quickly and with little or no pain. I just want to get it over with and not carry this non-growing baby in my body for a month! I just want this to be done and over so we can move on. I praise God that this happened now and not later and I also praise Him because now Tim is ready and prepared for another one and this has brought us closer. God is good!
I fully trust the Lord and His plan for my life. Father God, I come to you right now and I give you glory and honor. Lord you see the things that I can not see and can not yet understand but I fully trust You and know that Your will is perfect. I give you praise Lord, I rejoice Lord, my heart is full of joy. I prayed yesterday to you Father that you would comfort me and strengthen me and of course You did not fail. I have such a peace in my heart Lord and that is the peace that passes all understanding. How can I be at peace in such a hurtful time? Because I love You Father! Because you are my Comforter! Father God I pray that you will touch my body, that it will recover quickly, that it will be pain free, that it will conceive another healthy child in your perfect time. Lord please continue to bless our family and bring us closer through this. Lord I pray for your words to tell Tucker. I pray that you will touch his precious little heart and help him to understand such a painful, grown-up situation. Lord, please be Tucker's comforter as you are mine. Be Tim's comforter Father. I give you thanks for these things Lord. I know that Your hand is in our lives and the healing has already begun. Praise you Lord!
The enemy can not have me... for the victory is the Lords!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Things my husband says:

I can't have my fat pregnant wife and baby driving around w/o AC in the car - translation:
I have to use the word fat because I don't want her to think I really care but yet I really do!

How's my pregnant *ss wife feeling today - translation: If I use a swear word it'll make me sound tough and like I don't care however, I really do care how she's feeling!

He came up behind me and was rubbing my belly and I chuckled. He said What - I said I think it's cute that you are rubbing baby. He gufawed (is that a word) and walked away like he wasn't doing anything.
Men - so funny, so predictable! We love them because we feel sorry for them! HAHA (I AM only kidding)!
He was so upset about baby at first but now he's getting so excited, it is so precious to hear the love and concern in his undertone. He's such a hard outershell man but really inside there is this softness. And when he comes to serve the Lord it will really show through. Then his true strength and power will come out in his gentleness! I trust the Lord for it today and everyday!
I'm wearing maternity clothes today. My jeans don't fit anymore. Do you know how devastating that is ... AT SIX WEEKS PREGERS!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well, I look cute! HAHA! Hope you all have a blessed weekend. I pray that you truly celebrate our Lord and savior all weekend. Dance around your house to praise music and turn your face to heaven and let Him see the glory in your face that He put there!
Love and peace to you all!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

A quick note: GOD IS GOOD!
I had one more thing that hadn't cleared and I had a farewell luncheon I was going to have to miss today... but God provided EXACTLY the amount I needed to cover them both.
Thank you Jesus for always being here and for always providing my needs according to your perfect will!
Hi baby! You are definately growing because I am growing! So, I know you need to grow and I of course want you to grow but could you find room somewhere inside where it's not pushing so much on the outside? I do believe this will be my last week in normal pants. Even my low riders are uncomfortable when sitting down. I had to wear maternity shorts and top to Tucker's ball practice last night because I have no shorts to fit me. Today things are definately moving and growing because my belly hurts and its already starting to harden up across the top. Well, you didn't waste any time did ya?! Well, I guess I might as well get used to it now... I just really thought I'd have another month or so before this happened. Your brother was pushing on my belly yesterday singing you got a chubby belly mommy! Oh how comforting that was! NOT!
I did go home and catch a 20 min nap before he got home from school. You are making me sleepy with all the growing you are doing - BUT don't stop okay?!

So... girls... pray for me finacially please! I screwed two of my 3 accounts up royally (don't ask me how as I check online almost everyday). But it's bad... like $170 bad! I know it's my fault as I'm the one who does the bills. I got lazy for one thing and didn't check the joint account book against the online statement. I thought I had more money in there than what was in there. Then of course... I have $120 budgeted for gas... well I'm spending $171! Somethings gotta give on these gas prices. I don't have any money in the budget to shift around to cover it. So, I'm taking money from my business account to cover my personal account and praise the Lord tomorrow is payday so I can cover it all tomorrow EXCEPT that it's going to make me short then the next week for bills. So... I need the Lord to bless me finacially to cover my stupidity!
I know we've all been here and we've all done it but now I'm trying not to worry about it since there is nothing I can do to cover it but it still has my stomach in knots (which baby was doing just fine on it's own).
So anyways... that's my drama. Tucker has his first game tonight and he's so excited because Papa Bert is coming and it's daddy's day off so he'll have a fan base for his first game! LOL!
Church was so awesome last night. We've started this small 10 chapter book on the Miraculous something or other (I know how lame am I) it's about the Holy Spirit and how and why He was sent to us as our helper and how to receive Him. I'm very excited about this new study. I'm hoping to learn alot. Our pastor is so intuned and so led by the Holy Spirit it's so fabulous! We somehow got on to forgiveness and I just left a msg on someone blog yesterday about how amazingly free I am and it finally dawned on me that I am forgiven! The Lord also pointed out some scripture to me that I am going to read over the baby after it's born. It was in I John 3 but I don't have my bible right here with so I can't tell you what verse it was. Anyways, I just know, the Lord has filled me with the knowledge that this child will be my peaceful child, that this child is going to be knowledgable in and live the Word. Of course it is my job as a parent to fill the childs atmosphere with the Word and teach it to pray and teach it to praise. So those are my ramblings for the day...
Have a peaceful Thursday. I can't wait for tomorrow to get here!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Good Wednesday morning world!! Isn't it a glorious day? The sun is shining, it's going to warm all day and we are half way through the week (which is a good thing since I thought yesterday was Thursday)!!! Something else someone pointed out to me, it's a 3 day weekend! I've been so lost in the clouds that I forgot it was a holiday weekend! YAAA the pools open! Can't wait to start swimming.
I went yesterday to Once Upon a Child and got some more maternity clothes. A pair of jeans, a dress, and about 5 tops for $40! Can't beat that. My friend Tif bought me two tops and a Fit Mama DVD. She said if I was going to hang with her while pregnant I had to be a hot mama! LOL! She's my fashion diva!
The Dr office called yesterday afternoon and I have another ultrasound Tuesday morning since we didn't see the heartbeat yet. Please pray. I started to worry than said NOPE! My God is not a God of fear or worry. So, I praise Him instead for a Dr that is caring and wants to be fully aware of what's going on with my unique situation! I trust God. The Lord is just, He is my rock, there is nothing but goodness in Him Psalm 92:15!
I found some amazing websites lately. I don't know how to create links on the side. I always try and it never works. So they are: so amazing the wisdom of this Holly Smith. And she is so inspirational and this one she seems so very sweet and mild. The total opposite of me. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that than I remember that God made me bold for a reason. He made me loud so I could be heard. LOL! Tucker had a rough day yesterday pray for a better day today please!
I'm getting ready to go for a walk and get some excercise in! I've put on 3 lbs!! GEESH!
Tonight is T-ball practice and I have to go to the dreaded walmart to get some flips flops for Tucker and some food for him to take to school for a party they have tomorrow!
Welp, that's my story... not exciting but that's it.
I did have my first bout of " I just need to close my eyes for a second" yesterday. After the 20 min nap I felt better! Love and prayers to you all!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Hello Tadpol-ette (hehe). Well, mommy just saw you on the screen. I had my first ultrasound today and there you were. Just a blip on the screen. A dot. A peanut a whole 2.23 m long. Amazingly enough, in exactly one week from today you will be 6 something m long! You have little arm and leg buds (which we couldn't see) and they will start moving around this week. You heart is there and dividing into two chambers this week but again we just couldn't see it today. We could see that there was blood flowing around you and that was good. We now know that I am pregnant in my left cervix. That's a first. I was pregnant in my right cervix the other two pregnancies. So, I have spoken that my left side is my strong side! I'm trusting God for an amazingly healthy pregnancy this time. He is good and He answers and I will accept His answer as His perfect will for my life. No matter what that answer may be. I am so excited. I have another appt next Tuesday to talk to the Dr about the game plan this time. I pray that it's good news. I still feel great! No sickness. Food totally agrees with me so far. Garlic leaves me with tons of indigestion. I'm not totally worn out yet either. I'm waiting for that to kick in. With me being home alone with Tucker most of the time I'm praying he'll let me take cat naps when I need them. I'm already popping out. I weighed myself this morning and you've put on three pounds already! (yes all the weight gain will be you not me). hehe! What's so bad about that is I've been eating really clean. I haven't had any junk food! But I guess it's to be expected and I'm not going to get worked up about it.
I'm going to my friend Em's house tomorrow to get some clothes. She just had Lola and I can't wait to see her! I do hope you and Lola will be great friends!
Well sweet baby mommy will write to you later! I love you.

so, for those of you who don't know... I was born with two cervix and one kidney. I've been told I have one uterus split in 1/2 and I've been told I have two seperate uteri. Honestly I don't think anyone knows for sure. When I graduated I was pregnant and lost the baby at 5 months and that's how we found out about the two seperate cervix. This is the first time being pregnant on the left side. So, pray that this will make the difference and be a strong pregnancy!
I had a fabulous weekend! Friday night, Tucker had ball practice and did great at 1st base. Then I went to do my scrapbook thing and had a good time. Saturday morning I laid around and enjoyed the quiet morning. Then I made a HUGE breakfast for Tucker. Bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, stawberries and pancakes. NO... I did not eat the pancakes (that would explain 3lbs if I did)! Saturday evening Tim took us to dinner at a great new mediterranian rest. and to see Shrek 3. That was a cute movie if you like Shrek. We got a huge kick out of it! Sunday was church and an all day birthday party. It was a sunny warm beautiful day and we had a great time. But last night... I felt pregnant! My feet were swollen and I was exhausted! I curled up in the recliner with a glass of OJ and didn't move for two hours! Anyone watch Desperate Housewives? OMG!! Didn't see the ending coming did you??? Surely they'll bring her back?!
Well, that's all I have to say today...
Happy Monday!
And to the praying world - pray for Josh and his entire family. He truly needs the miracle of God's healing in his life. And GOD CAN DO IT! Through the power of the Holy Spirit Josh can be free from his drug addictions and be healed and I trust the Lord for it!

Friday, May 18, 2007

My heart does flip flops in my chest when I start thinking to much. I get so nervous. I want everything to be so perfect for you. I am so afraid Tadpole of doing something to hurt you. I know how silly it is, I know you are so very protected in there but I think it's a natural fear that all mommy's feel. Especially since my pregnancies are so very hard. I am trusting God for you. I am trusting Him for a healthy pregnancy and safe and not having to be on bedrest the whole time this time. He is good! I can't wait to start taking you to church. I pray over you already , I can't wait to teach you to pray. Your big brother and I pray together every night and he requests that I pray for you every night. He lays his hands on you in my tummy and he says hello to you and that he loves you. Oh my little tadpole you have no idea how mommy's heart melts! I can't imagine how it will be to have both of you in my arms. I can't imagine being any more blessed! I'm trying to feed you really well. I don't want to gain to much weight so I am eating healthy. Boiled egg, whole wheat toast, cantelope for breakfast, light yogurt snack, Healthy choice 300 cal or less plus a side of vegies for lunch, apple for snack, 3 oz of meat, 2 helpings of vegies and/or a spinach salad for dinner. Usually some reduced fat crackers in there somewhere too. I'm hoping I'm feeding you enough! I take my vitamins everyday and am still exercising to keep that blood and oxygen pumping to you. I'm going to talk to you alot out here because I'm trying not to bore everyone in the real world with all the pregnancy talk. I don't want them to roll their eyes everytime I say something! haha! I only feel sick one time a day and I have been able to breath through it and I think that I may be eating to fast when I feel like that so I am trying to slow down. Habit - to wolf my food down like it's going out of style! haha!
Well tadpole... that's it for today. I'm going to go look for some maternity clothes today. My belly is starting to poke out. Daddy was laughing at me last night because my tank top kept raising up over my belly and my sweatpants kept riding down under my belly so there was a couple of inches showing. Oh well, guess I can't hide it forever!'s Friday. The week has been pretty uneventful since Tucker is better. We cleaned house last night and Tucker and I snuggled in his bed and talked about school. I got some scrapbooking done, I made a little brag n tag book for Dad for Father's day of his retirement party. I'll post pics one of these days of it. I made a pork roast last night (I think bob evans) it's microwavable like 7 min and it's done! OMG they are so good, comes w/ gravy. Microwavable mashed potatoes (country crock) again so good! So easy and that's what I'm all about! haha
Tk has T-ball practice tonight and I have my scrapbook interest based group (IBG) at church. I have lots to do so it'll be nice to get away from the house for a few hours and get it all done w/ no interuptions! I used to have the IBG at my house but we 1.) outgrew the place and 2.) my husband said that was to much estrogen in his house. HAHA! So we are at the church now.
Saturday I believe we are taking Tk to see Shrek 3. There are so many good movies coming out! Started w/ Spidey 3, now Shrek 3 and then Fantastic 4 - 2 ... I'll be spending money at the theater this summer!
Well, I guess I've made this like WAY long. Sorry! Happy Friday and have a truly blessed weekend! And Neicey - you'll find the church just listen to God. Kris- yes I was not a fan of Devil wears Prada either.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Hello punkin' seed - guess I should change your name to tadpole now.
I can't wait until Monday. I get to see my first picture of you and of your beating heart. I know I'm going to cry tears of joy of course.
Daddy said last night he just wants you to be healthy, me too. Bubby doesn't care if your a boy or girl either we are all looking forward to loving you.
You now have a brain and heart and in the next couple of weeks will start growing your limbs.
I ate peas for you yesterday and today. Hope you liked them ' cause mommy sure doesn't.
You kept me up awful late last night, you must already have a head full of hair if the old wives tail is true. hahaha! Sounds like Tums will be mommy's new best friend.
I can't wait to feel you start moving. I have a couple of months yet. You just have no idea how much you are wanted and loved already. Actually you probably do because I truly believe all children are in heaven and hand pick their parents. I love you little tadpole. See you Monday!

Tucker is feeling better and recovering from strep throat. I enjoyed the two days off, I got lots done. Other than that not really much to post about. T-ball practice tonight and that's it!
Hope this finds you all well and happy!
Love and blessings to you all.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Good morning world.
It's Monday.
I'm feeling a little Garfield-ish today.
Tucker is sick - fever and sore throat. I got to work at 5:45am (did anyone know this time of day existed)? I have my first Dr appt at 8:50 and then I have to go home and get my sick kid to the Dr.
We painted (I should day my hubby and my dad) the whole interior of the house. I did my bathroom Saturday. It was a lot of work. Saturday evening my first downline had her "Jump Start" party (CTMH) and it went well. I enjoyed being there and answering questions and helping her out. She's going to be great!
Yesterday Tim and Tucker took me to breakfast and then I went to visit mom and that was my day. I laid around and read. Great day!
To my unborn child:
I'm nervous, I really want this pregnancy to be healthy. I don't want to be on bedrest this time. I also don't want to be sick. I never was with Tucker and I'm feeling a little nauseous right now so if you could kindly stop that it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
My boobs are growing at a rate of speed unknown to mankind. Daddy saw me get out of the shower the other day and said "Oh wow, you are already starting to show"! I sucked my belly in really fast and said "No I'm not"! LOL! But yes, he's right. Looks like I'll be in maternity clothes before I know it. They say you get bigger with your second one. Geesh!
Bubby is still so excited. He tells everyone he sees that you are on your way. I told Mimi about you yesterday (part of her mothers day) and she was very excited! Also, Grandma and Grandpa Smith were thrilled. You should have heard the excitement in their voices!
Right now, your devoloping so very fast. I'm sure all the sugar and fat that I had at Bob Evans' wasn't good but hey... it was my present to myself! haha! Your brain is developing and your heart is almost done. In about 4 weeks I'll be able to hear your heart beating. It'll all seem so much more real at that point. I can't wait!
Daddy was on the internet looking at nursery's last night. Trying to come up with the perfect room for you. See, I told you he was really a softie. He started asking questions about my pregnancy, when would I get sick (I said I wouldn't so remember that ok).
Mommy loves you punkin' seed!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

My blog will be going on a new path...


Hi baby... I am so excited!! I am now 5 weeks along, you will be due right around your big brothers birthday. He thinks you will be the best birthday present ever. When bubby found out I was pregnant he said "YES, FINALLY"! He also ran into church last night and annouced (to the entire church before I could get in there) My mommy is pregnant and she JUST got pregnant TODAY! Oh, little one, your big brother is so very excited for you to get here already. He's already laying his hands on my tummy asking is it growing yet, is your tummy going to get big today, he laid in bed last night talking to you.. did you hear him? No not yet your ears haven't formed yet but I know you feel our love from your cozy little home. He was saying Hi cutie, Hi cutie little baby. He already promises to share his toys and my time and carry all poopy diapers to the trash! He's so very funny. What a lucky mommy I am to have him and now to have you! I know you will be a child of peace that our lives will be forever blessed for knowing you. I already have your name picked out if you are a girl... I had them picked from the bible and decided to look them up... peace and peace and quiet is what they mean and a light in the dark. Boy will you ever be! So, you are developing your brain and your heart right now. I'm eating lots of vegies and protien so you can grow to be strong and smart! Your father is very smart so I know you will be too! I pray that you have your daddies looks (if you are a girl). Your daddy has your name picked out if you are a boy. He has had it picked out for years. He's scared... he won't really say it but I know he is. He's afraid of how very much he's going to love you and of being wrapped around all 10 fingers and toes! He's a big softie in a big metal shell.
My heart is soaring and I am so excited. Of course I am scrared too, this is new and different and lets face it, it's been a long time since I've had a baby around. But I know that God will work it all out. He's good like that, He always provides and keeps us! I trust Him and one day... you will too. There are lots of people already looking forward to meeting you!
Mommy already loves you tons!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A love story:

My friend Chris's first love Brandyn. She loved him since she was 14 years old. Her first everything. They were together a couple of times throughout high school but never officially dated. He was a typical high school boy take what he could get and go. She's loved him all these years. She dated a guy her Jr year in HS got pregnant, was terribly sick and had to quit school. They married, he joined the military and they moved. She was so unhappy. Her mom passed away when Chris was like 19-20. She had a pretty hard life, no father around her mom had MS and they didn't have much money. But you would never know it. She always had a smile on her face, love in her heart for people, an easy giggle (that she still has now). Well, the guy she married was a young skateboarder party punk. They divorced. Now a single mom, she did meet a nice guy. (I actually worked with him for a short time). He came from money. They dated, got married, and eventually the father gave up rights and the hubby J adopted her little girl. She was almost 2 years old when Chris and J got together. He started his own business they lived in a nice town and had a nice house, had money. His office was above the garage and he taught her alot of things that as a girl she didn't know. She is loyal. She loves to love people. Well, J was OCD and was pretty hard to live with but she was still happy and in love. 16 years of being together, he started getting mean, and things started changing. Well, finally she decided she had to leave. Come to find out, he was doing cocaine and lost alot of money and business. So, she moved in with her sister and her sisters kids. Well, she started dating someone else after a few months alone. A nice enough guy but had lots of baggage. Then... one day... from she gets an email. FROM BRANDYN!!!! Says, hey what have you been up to. He lives in NC is divorced, 2 kids, a good steady job. Well, his father just passed away from cancer so when he came up he made arrangements to see Chris. Said he always regreted not giving her a chance and apologized for the way he treated her in HS. So.... now after spending the week together she will be going to NC in June and in July. My guess is she'll be moving there by August. They have already discussed what the wedding plans will be!

I am so happy for her... in all the years I've known her she has mentioned his name at least once in every conversation. He truly is the love of her life! This is the stuff dreams are made of!

Can we say hey Lifetime... here's a movie for ya'?! The total happily ever after movie package right here! CONGRATS CHRIS & BRANDYN for FINALLY finding each other and true love!

Monday, May 07, 2007

I love weekends, I really do. I love Mondays at work too because I get to REST!
No really, I had a super weekend just really busy!
Friday, Tucker had T-ball practice, his first one of the season. Let me just say I AM SO PROUD! He did such a great job. He played first base and people were saying man, he's got a great arm on him. He tried very hard to catch the ball, he tagged a couple of the kids out, he paid attention, he hustled, we never once had to say Tucker stop that, Tucker pay attention I was beginning to wonder who's kid was out there! He loved it and he was great at it! Then... we straight from there to see Spiderman 3. Tucker loved it, he covered his eyes at the kissing scenes and said ooooo tell me when it's over. HAHAHA!! That was hysterical. He loved to movie, he loved the sandman, he loved venom and over all it's his new favorite movie. He's 6.
Now, my opinion, 1 and 2 were way better. Like the scene were spidey sense kicks in and he jumps on Mary Jane before Doc Oc crashes through the glass of the resturant... love that scene. This movie was just ok. A little long and I didn't really like what the did to Parker character making him cocky and all (even before the alter ego). Anways, would I pay to see it again, it is better to see some of the action (with New Goblin) on big screen but no I personally wouldn't pay to see it again. Now ask Tucker, he'd say YEAH!!
Saturday I got up at 7am and started cleaning immediatley! Then I prepared food for the Silpalda jewelry party I was having (in which TWO people showed). Then I cleaned up from it. Tucker fell asleep so I got dishes done and put away and I actually got to paint my nails! Something I've been wanting to do for the past month!
Sunday, church and a surpise b-day dinner for the pastors wife imed. following, had to leave there rush home change clothes and run to my upline (CTMH supervisor person) house and she showed me all kinds of new techniques and card workshop ideas. Got home, kid fell asleep again (must be a growth spurt) and I went out and mowed part of the backyard that still had grass. Then I folded clothes and then I worked on some scrapbook stuff while I watched Desperate Housewives. So shew... I'm tired!
I've got a meeting at 6 tonight, swim at 6:30 ball practice tomorrow church on Wed. and start painting my house Thursday and Friday and Satu and Sund. GEESH!! Will it ever end?!?!
Holy canoly!
And my dear husband has been so sweet lately. You can tell we both really miss each other.
I really enjoy hm having Fridays' off but we haven't got to enjoy it yet really. Always something going on!
Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Okay, so P was talking about forgiveness on her blog... let me tell you about the revelation I had at women of faith.

Sandy Patti... I guess several years ago had an affair... here she was singing about Christ's love, preaching it to people and having an affair while doing it! I thought... Lord, if she can fall someone who is living your word everyday, if she can fall WHAT MAKES ME THINK I'M EXEMPT?! If she can fall (this fine upstanding christian lady) than SURELY I too will fall daily. It all just clicked to me, it all just made sense to me, and if she could be forgiven for singing his praises while sinning then I could be forgiven! It was the most amazing freedom I have ever felt! Funny, because the title of the conference was amazing freedom. And you know what, I was changed, I was healed from a thought that the Lord gave me. It wasn't something she or any one else said. It was a word from the Lord planted into my heart and mind. I know I am forgiven! I know I am loved! And I also know that the Lord uses me! I also know that the Lord will use my experiences of sin as a testimony to His greatness!

If we are obedient to the Lord He will open the windows of blessings and pour out onto us and He also moves us to another level in our relationship with Him. I don't know alot of scripture by heart... but I do know Psalm 30:5 we will cry tears at night but our joy will come in the morning. Trust in the Lord put your full faith in Him and HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!

Okay, so now onto the mundane of life...

I went to the ENT with my xrays (finally)! I have to have surgery. The passageway between my nose and into my cheeks is completely blocked and full of polups (sp?). So, he's going to go in and recontruct those passageways. I am pushing the surgery back to the fall when I will have some more vacation time. I will have to be off work for a week. Then after surgery I will still have to see an allergist. Geesh... I so didn't see this coming. I'm not upset or worried or anything, just bummed about having to be in terrible pain for a week AND because I'm going to have to rely on people to help me do things and I HATE to rely on anyone because I have such high expectations I'm usually disappointed. That would be the perfectionist in me.

My dad brought up my kitchen island that he built for me. OMG!! It is so beautiful! He did such an amazing job. He's so awesome. I just love him! It's a truly beautiful piece of furniture. I'll try to post a couple of pics of it but you have to know... it does not do it justice!

He made the spice rack on the side and that papertowel holder on the side, can you imagine being able to look at a block of wood and making that out of it? I sure can't!

Anyways... happy Friday and happy Spiderman 3 day. My son will probably pee himself in excitement before the day is up! LOL!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

AAAHH!! I finally have a minute to post. I'll try to make this quick!
OMG!! What a great weekend!
First - Friday shopping all day... Penny's had buy one get one .88 sale!!!!!! So I spent $36.00 for a pair of jeans and got the 2nd for .88!!! You can't beat that... oh it was so much fun! I got a ton of stuff and had a blast shopping and drinking Starbucks new Dulce De Leche frappachino! YUMMY!
Max Lucado was amazing, simple and on point and he didn't seem intimidated by the 18 THOUSAND women he was surrounded by. Yep you read right - 18,000 women all in one little corner of the world. Oh my goodness... it was madness! Sandy Patty - geesh incredcible! Here she was singing to little ol' us and she was singing at Carnegie Hall today! She's great. There is a comedian Anita Renfroe - HELLO! Can you say hysterical? We ALL had tears in our eyes, our sides hurt and our jaws hurt from laughing. I am going to buy some of her DVDs and even if you aren't a Christian... I suggest her... she's a great comedian! Luci Swindoll insightful, Marilyn Teberg amazing and free, Sheila Walsh straight to the heart, and Patsy Clairmont a spitfire!
What a great time! I was so glad to get home and go to bed though! I was exhausted!
Now today, I have my first CTMH party amongst strangers. I'm nervous but I know it'll be just fine as the product sells itself. But still say a little prayer for me. Thanks!
My hubby missed me terribly! (yeah)! I finally saw him Sunday after church and he said come here and gave me a huge hug! That is very unlike my husband! I was so excited and felt so welcomed it was very nice. It was nice to know that I was missed. It was also nice to have a whole weekend where I never spoke to him or my child. It was truly a real break! I think it was good for Tim and I as we realized - hey we do love and need each other! LOL!
Welp, that's all for now.
Hope this finds you all having a great Tuesday! SPIDERMAN -3 OPENS FRIDAY!!! We are SOOOO going!!! Tucker came home from school and announced "Well mom today is the day of April" I said "yep". He said " You know what that means don't you? Only 5 more days!" And I said "AHA! until Spiderman-3"! And we both jumped up and down and were so excited! LOL!
I love his age, I love who he is. I LOVE these celebrations of the little things! He's so awesome!