Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I went to have another ultrasound yesterday and the baby was smaller than it was a week ago and it should have tripled in size. So, my body is going to miscarry. I had to have a blood test done which will check my hormone levels and then I'll go again next week and see if they dropped (which in all reality they will have). The dr couldn't give me a time frame but I am guessing within a month I will have miscarried and it'll be done. I was (obviously) upset yesterday but I am okay today. I know that God has a perfect plan and I am trusting Him for it. Tim is being very supportive and he was pretty upset yesterday also. We both agree that once I'm healthy we'll try again. The hardest thing in all of this will be to tell Tucker. He's so very excited it's going to suck! That and just having to tell this story over and over to all the people who know. Next time… we'll wait to tell Tucker (because he's the one who blabbed to everyone he saw)! So anyways… please pray that this happens quickly and with little or no pain. I just want to get it over with and not carry this non-growing baby in my body for a month! I just want this to be done and over so we can move on. I praise God that this happened now and not later and I also praise Him because now Tim is ready and prepared for another one and this has brought us closer. God is good!
I fully trust the Lord and His plan for my life. Father God, I come to you right now and I give you glory and honor. Lord you see the things that I can not see and can not yet understand but I fully trust You and know that Your will is perfect. I give you praise Lord, I rejoice Lord, my heart is full of joy. I prayed yesterday to you Father that you would comfort me and strengthen me and of course You did not fail. I have such a peace in my heart Lord and that is the peace that passes all understanding. How can I be at peace in such a hurtful time? Because I love You Father! Because you are my Comforter! Father God I pray that you will touch my body, that it will recover quickly, that it will be pain free, that it will conceive another healthy child in your perfect time. Lord please continue to bless our family and bring us closer through this. Lord I pray for your words to tell Tucker. I pray that you will touch his precious little heart and help him to understand such a painful, grown-up situation. Lord, please be Tucker's comforter as you are mine. Be Tim's comforter Father. I give you thanks for these things Lord. I know that Your hand is in our lives and the healing has already begun. Praise you Lord!
The enemy can not have me... for the victory is the Lords!


Elliemarie said...

Oh, Holli, I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts. Please take care.

Kristi K. said...

Yesterday all day I could sense something was wrong in your world, and I was praying. I am so sorry about this, and I will be praying each day for strength for you and your family.
With so much love,

pat said...

Dear Holli,
My heart goes out to you. You hang on and I believe God does have a plan for you.

CrownLaidDown said...


I am so sorry. I have missed checking in and have been praying for you and the baby. I am sorry for this, but asking God to continue to give you His joy. I long for His return, don't you? I know He has a special place for this baby by His side.

I will continue to pray. Read my post today, I think it is for you and I didn't even know it.