I feel guilty complaining. I feel guilty for feeling so bad, I feel guilty for doubting God, I feel guilty for not trusting him right now, I feel guilty for being bitter, angry, sad, hysterically mad, tired, and on constant verge of tears.
It could all be gone if my stupid freaking selfish SOB of a husband would just get a real job.
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM.
I can't do this, I can NOT do 2nd shift again. I'm miserable, lonely and so very bitter already. I remember what 2nd was like (he's worked it before). I just can't get over this. I just can't move on. He (Tim) said I am clincally depressed and that I need to see someone. I said no, I would be fine if you would just take the loan officer job! Everything would be better. I had a friend tell me today how I can't depend on someone else for my happiness. Well, I made her leave my office. Yes, I am depending on him for it because I know what it will take to be happy, and I very carefully planned it, he agreed with the plan and now has changed it all. So therefore I have been made unhappy. He's a miserable selfish bastard.