Friday, January 19, 2007

Ohhh this is all so Jerry Springer! I can't believe my life has turned into a Maury Povich show!
So, my husband called his ex girlfriend to see what she had to say about what we proposed last Thursday (regarding paternity test). Now I know why he called her psycho-slut all these years!
She said no, she doesn't want a paternity test done right now. She said I'm not saying we won't do it down the road just not right now. I said why would we waste our time with this child to find out that she isn't Tim's?! Waste was the wrong term she got pissed and my daughter is not a waste of time (huf huf huf)... well guess what sweetie YES SHE IS IF SHE ISN'T HIS DAUGHTER!!!! Just because you love her doesn't mean everyone wants to love her. What a freaking idiot! She said she spoke to her attorney and he said since she's not asking us for any money or anything at all other than spend time with this little girl that a test wasn't needed. (uh, hey, did you tell your attorney that you sat in a court of law and said you didn't know who the father was - gee I bet you left that part out DUH)! And get this! She even told my husband she knew and understood where I was coming from because her soon to be ex husband had went through this and had some ex saying her kid was his. They did a paternity test and found out it wasn't his! She said she wouldn't be "putting her daughter through this" if she wasn't 100% sure. Well, it's not fair for her to walk around 100% sure, Tim to walk around 80% sure and me walk around 50% sure! No, we all need to be on the same page. I explained that it was a home kit, that it would not stand up in the court of law, that she the mother would take a q-tip and rub it in the childs mouth and put it in an envelope and mail it off. That's it, no drama. I prefer no drama in my life! I can't handle all of this drama. So when we hung up the phone I said that's it - we're done. No more. My husband of course is willing to play whatever BS game she's wanting to play. If this is a control thing - she'll lose. See, I have total control of myself. I have the control to get up and walk away - period. I don't play games. So Tim says she wants us all to sit down together and talk w/o the little girl. I said why?! There is nothing to talk about. I don't care about your past with her, I don't care who did what to who, I don't want to or need to know. She needs to know that you want to spend as much time as possible with your daughter and we need to know before we invest our hearts, gas, time, money on gifts, setting up a college fund, IF she is indeed your daughter! DUH! Quit being a fool dude! He keeps saying "she has my eyes". Guess what,? Everyone thinks Tucker is your son - why - because he has your eyes! That doesn't mean crap to me! I want to see it on paper. Now because I'm trying to be a christian about this and I'm trying to be the supportive wife (he makes it SOOOOOO hard, harder than he'll ever know) I might (GREAT BIG MIGHT) meet with this crazy, psycho, piece of crap for a mother woman and let Tim make a fool of himself some more while he begs and pleads to spend time with this girl. I told him - we will not SEE, TOUCH, SMELL, TALK TO this child till this test is done. Then I said, I'll tell ya what, we'll all meet up you take her potty and you swab her mouth and the mother doesn't have to know anything about it! He didn't go for that idea - BECAUSE HE'S A FOOL!!!! I swear, I went to bed heart pounding, muscles so tight they ache today, my head was throbbing and I couldn't sleep. I am sooooo tired of this going on and on and on.
Tim doesn't understand why I am so dead set against this. Oh here let me explain
Me: Hey Tucker let me talk to you. You know that little sister you've wanted. Well 5 years later here she is.
TK: Who is she, is she in your tummy, how'd you get her?
ME: Your dad slept with a whore right before we met and he got her prego. She wouldn't let him see her all these years
TK: WOW - cool
several months later after he's growing attached she finally says lets have this test done
ME: Oh sorry, we lied
TK: WHAT you mean she isn't my sister now
ME: Yep, you never get to see her again. She's not daddy's little girl after all, she's someone else's.
I'm sorry that is all so warped!!!!!!!! I can't believe this is my life! I never in a million years thought I'd be wrapped in this kind of drama. This is so white, trailer trash! I mean really, I can't get over the shock. This makes my stomach turn.
I had to pray (I mean PRAY) last night when talking to her and when he was talking to her to remain calm. I had to pray to get to sleep. I'm praying now to remain calm. I praise God for his wonderful world and I praise him that this is not personally my drama but my husband's. I praise him that my child has no other "parent" to pop up in his life. I praise God that He is helping me use restraint and that He is trying so very hard to fill me with peace. I know and trust Him for this isane situation to be worked out according to His will. Please be in prayer for me family. Thanks and happy Friday!


Kristi K. said...

I am so sorry, sweetie. Hang in there, ok?
Love you!

Elliemarie said...

Oh, Holli, this is such a nightmare for you. And I agree wholeheartedly that nothing should proceed without a paternity test-the little girl could be ANYBODY's and you can't trust this woman to not be lying and trying to take advantage of Tim.

As serious as this situation is, you had me laughing at the Jerry Springer reference,lol. Try and have a good weekend!

PJ said...

Oh Holli! My heart breaks for you right now. What a nightmare indeed! Stand your ground, girl. We are backing you 1000%!!!

PJ said...

Holli, i've been thinking more about this this morning and I can't get your situation out of my head. This woman pisses me off! She's not asking for money now, but she will. I'd bet money on it.

Your husband is also making me mad. He is the head of the household....YOUR household. By that I mean he has a duty to YOUR family, that is Tucker and yourself. Why is he putting the needs of this child first? I mean, I respect his sense of duty to take care of a child that "might" be his. However, really really good boundaries need to be set and he's not doing that! He's thinking with his heart alone and he needs to use his head a little. You definitely need a paternity test before ANYTHING happens.

I'm praying for you and trying not to be mad too. I admire your perseverance a lot Holli. Stick with it!

pat said...

Jerry Springer indeed! How about Dr. Phil? Oprah?

Paternity Test before anything. If there is nothing to hide, why hide it?

Holli said...

I totally stand firm on my word ladies! I guess my hubby read this blog and was furious with me calling him a fool and I said the truth hurts! Think with your head not your heart! Thanks for the support and prayers. I'm not angry anymore (well for now) I am trusting God to work this out. However he's going to call her again this Thursday so I'm sure I'll have more drama for ya then! Hmmm... Dr. Phil, now there's a thought!