Friday, March 16, 2007

Of course I got in here at 6am which means I've been up since 4:30am. Not so yeah, but I'll be feeling good at 2 when I walk out of these doors for the weekend.
I've got to get my house picked up and an extra table set up for tonight. I want to bake a cake and go to the store and get something to drink and some dip for chips. Nothing special, very informal. We stopped at Michaels craft store last night after Chuck E Cheese and I bought Tucker a kit that he can make these foam animal masks. So I thought the kids could do that while us ladies scrap. I also get to show off some of my new tools and get them good and curious! hehehe!
Neice- my church has lots of these IBGs, there is golf, motorcycle, sewing, scrapping, bible study, a singles group and my church is a small to medium sized church. Once you find a new home church this might be a good thing for you to bring to the's really a great way to get to know people.
So, I guess basically it'll be a monthly crop and I'm excited!
Chuck E Cheese was a blast. Tucker was sooooo good and he had a ball! He got his little prizes w/ his tickets and after about an hour and a half he was ready to go home! I couldn't believe it, i was prepared for the battle of getting him out of there!
So... on the way home.... (ah you knew the whole post couldn't be upbeat right?!)
So, I told you all I am going off the pill. (yeah for me) however... the husband is not thrilled. He doesn't want anymore kids (so he says) when we first got together however he did. I would never ever ever have even glanced his way if he didn't want kids. So about 2-3 months ago he point blank asked me - so it's a baby or divorce and I said yes that it wasn't an option for me. That I had given up enough of my dreams for him and this was not going to be one of them. Well he never said anything after that, we never argued about it again and obviously we're not divorced so... I thought he was on the upswing w/ this idea. Well last night he let me know that he is not, will not have kids. Well... then I guess you're out the door... I'm not going back on the pill so I guess he and I won't be having sex. I don't know! I honestly think it has to do with the fact that he has a SUPPOSED daughter out there that he has nothing to do with (not of his own doing) and he'll feel guilty taking care of one and not the other. He resents me (he let me know last night) because I won't LET him see his daughter. I said Tim she has blue eyes and red hair... the odds genetically that she is yours is slim. He swears she's his kid. If he really and I mean because he loved her not out of guilt really wanted to see her, he'd be doing everything possible to get to her. You know what I mean? I mean if I had a kid that wasn't in my life... I'd call the mother and say look its like this... you do the paternity test this way OR I'll gladly go to a lawyer and we can do it through court and I'll pay child support and you'll be forced into visitation. I would think that he would WANT to take care of his own kid if she's that important to him. I really think he's operating out of guilt and not of love. But anywho... I told him I'm going to have a baby one way or the other. With or without you. I had Tucker alone I can have another one alone. No one got up in the middle of the night to help me, no one fed him for me, no one changed him, no one gave him baths at night time. I don't expect your help. I just expect your 'deposit' and then you can be gone... whatever. He is so in his own world...he's so selfish. He had a fit when he found out I was having the scrapbook stuff at our house. Sorry, but I am a hostess, I love to open my home to others and that's what I'm going to do and he needs to find another wife that is weird like him!


Kristi K. said...

I do understand your sentiments in this post.

I am glad you're having the crop and that you're excited about it.

I'm sorry Tim isn't excited about the crop or the baby.

Robert, as you know, is antisocial. He's okay to talk to people (a bit) out and about. But he sees his home as his private domain. He prefers to be left alone there. His home is his reprieve, his place to have solitude. One day I'm going to build him a huge entertainment room, and he can lock himself in it and I can finally have people over.

He doesn't mind me going problem. He'd watch the kids back when they were babies anytime I wanted to go to a friend's house or meet up somewhere. His attitude is "Just go, have fun. Don't expect me to chit chat." That kind of thing. I have a lot of friends, he has one or two really distant friends or a few from high school that he chats with if he sees them at the store. Nothing more. We have no couple friends. I think it would be fun to have couple friends. He sees friends as "one more headache."

So, over the last 17 years we've been together, I don't push him on this. Since I don't cook, anyway, how much of a hostess could I be? ;) I simply go out with my friends, meet up somewhere. (You know this about me.) I guess if I wanted to have a shindig I'd have to rent a venue. So, I know how this is to have a husband who isn't social like you. It's tough.

The whole thing is so hard. I will be praying hard for you. Hang in there, okay, sweetie. I am so glad you're a strong woman and you can stand up for yourself. I'm proud of you.

Have a good weekend, and I hope you all have a blast at your crop.

Btw, I'm ordering today, should be in by next weekend. We'll set up a time to get together, okay?

Love you, hon. Hugs!

Holli said...

Here's the thing - Tim is OCD. He can't stand the thought of 'dirty people' in his house messing it up and he won't even be home to know it! EEERRRRR - so frustrating!
I hate OCD!!

Kristi K. said...

How's your Monday going so far? I'm thinking of you and wondering how everything went.

neicybelle said...

holli, i'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! doesn't he think his word is worth anything? ugh!!!! i'm sorry...