Friday, December 15, 2006

how do you let go without giving in
how do stop being angry but still make a stand
how do you let go of resentment and not compromise
how do live with someone without loving them or hating them
how do you have peace and still make your point
how do you let go of stubborness and still get your way
how do you let go of hatred when its all that is keeping you warm
how do you let go without letting go of it all

3 comments:

Kristi K. said...

Sweetie, are you okay?

PJ said...

Hi Holli! As you know, you and I have some very similar situations when it comes to our marriages. I don't know if this will help or not, but I've been going to see a counselor about some of these issues. Here are some thoughts as to what is helping me. I pray something will speak to you.

For me, the issue is forgiveness. Jesus said 7x77. Over and over and over again i have to forgive. And I also have to ask God to heal my damaged emotions because it is so stinkin UNFAIR that I have to be the one to do it all the time.

However, I'm starting to see that when I humble myself, when I come under the lordship of my husband, which is God's hierarchy, God will bless me. He will sustain me when I come under His rule.

Also, and this is a big one for me, just because my husband sins doesn't give me the right to. I need to be the godly woman He has called me to be and keep myself clean and pure as much as possible.

Holding onto anger and allowing it to turn into bitterness is a sin. I have a choice with what to do with my emotions - let them fester and grow or turn them over God through forgiving.

I'm not saying this is easy. Oh no no. But here's a prayer I use ALL THE STINKIN TIME to help me! (Ugh!):

"Lord I choose to forgive ____ for ____ which made me feel _____. Lord Jesus, I feel this treatment is so unfair and ask You, Lord, to be my protector. Hug me Lord, and heal my damaged emotions. Break all strongholds related to this wound. Your Kingdom come Lord. I ask that you bless ____ now. In the strong name of Jesus, Amen.

I need to stand firm in doing what God says. Bitterness is like holding a bag of poison and the enemy wants me to hold onto it so that he can make me miserable and ruin my marriage.

Holli, fight for God's Kingdom. Fight for the child of God you are and want to be. Run the race because we have an amazing prize at the end! You are in a spiritual battle - guard yourself with the weapons from Eph. 6.

Some other reading I've found helpful: Eph. 4:29-32, the Gospel of John and What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey.

I totally don't have it all figured out. I'm still struggling and failing, daily. I just hope some of this encourages you. You are never beyond hope when you have Jesus. No matter what your emotions, God is bigger!

I'll be praying for you sister. Love, ME xxx.

pat said...

Holli,
What exactly is it about his job that makes you so unhappy? Then I would asked myself this question. Are you expecting more than he is able to give? Do you love this man? I guess that is two questions. Anger is a very destructive emotion and the only person it will destroy is you. I know. I have been there. Before you know it the anger will turn within and you will find yourself depressed if you are not already. Sometimes, Holli you just need to place it in God's hands.
You are not alone. Your friends are here.